To be a spiritually-conscious woman today means turning oneself outside in. It requires releasing layers and layers of learned conditioning and beliefs about who we think we are. It means opening to increased multi-dimensional layers of reality and knowing that as ourselves. It means understanding our crucial role in repairing the fallen consciousness of our world and having the courage to go there.
The first assignment in my transpersonal psychology masters program was to answer the question, “Who am I?”. We were to answer that again and again, moving from answers like “mother”, “teacher” to words that describe essence. That which is beyond definition.
I have been peeling away layers of my identity ever since but none so profound as this week when I got a tiny taste of my soul moving from this material 3D reality to being in an undifferentiated state in a higher, 4D reality. As I hummed the Hebrew Letter “Mem”, as suggested by Victoria Hanna, beautiful, Israeli performance artist, I felt the vibration expanding from my lips, throughout my body, and out beyond the confines of my physical form.
Mem is a “mother letter” in the Sefer Yetzirah, the ancient Book of Creation. Mem looks like a womb. I felt encompassed by Shechinah presence as I became a bridge between this world and a more expansive one.
I felt excited as my body continued to adjust to this new vibrational reality. I even felt a flash of being taller as I stood by my refrigerator! And at the same time, I felt a little off-center and afraid.
I have touched this place of “not-self” before and not fully let go into it. I’ve gone back to old habits and conditioning, thinking I don’t deserve such happiness or that I would lose everything, my family included, if I continued to expand in this way.
I know there is no turning back now. What I am feeling is tzim-tzum, contraction and expansion. That is what happens as we give birth to something new.
What is different for me this time is I have a deeper understanding of the context of Kabbalah as a consciousness path to lean into as I make this journey. I understand our world is multi-dimensional and fractal and, as I AM an iteration of the higher dimensional Adam and Chava, at some level there is no separation.
I don’t have to fear losing myself, as I have in the past. As I practice this expanded state, I can travel in my mind’s eye up and down the Tree of Life, the proverbial Jacob’s ladder, or along the central axis in the Torah Torus as I offer up fears, doubts, and prayers for myself and our world. In this way, my consciousness interweaves worlds and repairs tears in reality.
I am excited to know that those of us on this consciousness journey, guided by the wisdom of ancient Jewish sages and modern science, are contributing to the most important tikkun of all – the repair of consciousness that has plagued our planet since the time when Adam “missed the mark” in the Garden of Eden causing the collapse of worlds.
We are the bridge builders between worlds. Yes, we are needed now more than ever. And, this can be a good time, as we release the density that has held us back and awaken to the expansive, JOYFUL LIGHT that is our heritage.